In the Fullness of Time

Not even the world's greatest physicists or philosophers can fully explain or even fully understand time, which makes my own lack of understanding a tad easier to swallow. But my complaints with time are nothing as noble as the quest to understand whether time supports matter or whether it travels in waves or whether we can manipulate it. I just want to know why it doesn't adhere to my plans.

Slowly, time is coming around. It's taken some coaxing, and a lot of patience on my part, but time has finally begun seeing things my way.

Or, in other words, the new venture is finally about to launch (!!!) after plenty of work, plenty of work that should have happened faster (my fault!), numerous missteps and setbacks and confusions (also my fault, mostly), and a whole lot of wishful thinking.

I've been trying to understand why time has to be so slow whenever I want something to happen. God is gradually showing me how His control of time and my concept of time are vastly different. What I consider a boring eternity is hardly a blip in the grand scheme of eternity -- and even in the context of my life. Whether this project has taken a long time to get going or not, it has come together as God wants it, and apparently when God wants it. And it will be a lot more time before things really begin working with the well-oiled precision I look forward to -- a lot more time, and a lot more work. And patience!

But I am trying to shift my perspective: it's not time that is going slow; time is flying, and I'm failing to keep up. What better encouragement to keep moving forward, keep learning how to run a business and delving into this industry I've chosen, keep plugging away at the stories and poems that have electrified my imagination, keep living as if each day were the wonderful gift it is?

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." - Psalm 27:14.

And I have been horrible at this. In every area of my life, I've been guilty of trying to force my own timing, even when that timing is clearly the unwise choice. Wisdom comes with patience, not quick decisions, however inviting they seem. I am trying to rest in the peace that comes with letting God decide when, where, how.

It isn't easy.